An Important Date

This date is not important in a way you would want it to be important. It doesn't celebrate anything that you really want to remember. It's not a birthday. Or a romantic anniversary. It is six months since my brother and sister-in-law were taken from us. You didn't really need to tell me that for me to know, because that burning hole in my soul I felt when it first happened, came back with an insane amount of strength last night. And it's been hitting me on and off more often lately. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because it's getting closer to my wedding day. I'm obviously aware that they won't physically be there with us... but now it just seems more real. More painful. More irritating. I'm not the most religious person, nor do I not believe in a God, but for the first time in my life I've been angry with him. Why why why. Why did he plan our lives like this? But when it really comes down to it, I'd say that God has provided quite a few other amazing things in my life to help me get through. My absolutely amazing family, and the strongest person I know, my dad. My dad who lost his first born son and his best friend. Who by no means is a young fellow, but somehow found the strength to pull through and support any of us who fall. Kevin... who has done so much for me, even though it may seem to him like he has done so little. He never gets mad when I just break down crying. Screaming. Panicking. Or when I wake up early in the morning upset. Or when I'm afraid of life. He's the most amazing gift that I've been given to help me pull through. My friends, my incredible work colleagues. Life, really. And it's hard for me sometimes to remember just how amazing a gift life is. Because I get so afraid. And so upset. I wish that no one had to ever feel this pain that I have. To know that I will never hug my brother again, or talk about sewing with my sister-in-law... even that I will never sing karaoke with my brother in my parent's basement again. (I NEVER do karaoke, I am the worlds worst singer) Life has presented me with quite a challenge. And I know I will overcome it, because there still is so much beauty in the world. And so much life to experience. Besides, I have a new nephew coming in November. November 5th, actually. Exactly nine months after this happened. So, life is still amazing. And I can't wait to have a new, tiny man in my life.

This one is for you brother. I'll see you again.

Three Months Later...

I really am the WORST BLOGGER EVER. But I swear I've been busy. And lazy. :D

But look, I finished another garter yoke cardigan. Of course it's messed up because at this point I was still purling wrong, which gave me twisted stitches. Still... it is finished. :)



We also went on vacation. To Memphis. And it was so amazing... and so good to get away from everything.





Did I mention I have TWO baby showers in the next three weeks? Better get back to knitting...

The only April post

Not very great excuses... but we've been busy playing.





And sewing. Of course I have no photos of this. But I've made a couple skirts. And a bag for my new swift. (Yes, I bought a swift and absolutely love it! I can't believe how much quicker it is to turn a hank into a cake!)

I have done a bit of knitting as well. I made a lacy baktus for a swap present. I used baby cashmerino... SUPER soft after a nice soak. Although I must say I had some issues with knitting it, as it seemed a bit splitty. But it worked out and hopefully my partner liked it. :)



I also have damson and peggy sue on the needles. (Rav links) And now that I have finally figured out how to purl correctly (turns out I've been Ptbl this whole time thinking it was the correct way to purl).. both these things are turning out lovely.

Now, off to knitting. The computer has been so distracting lately!

FO: Ishbel the Second

Pattern: Ishbel
Yarn: Araucania Ranco Solid
Needles: Size 7
Thoughts: Obviously I adore this pattern, this is the second Ishbel I've made! I would absolutely make it again. And again. Especially since after making it, and being extremely frustrated about the curling that was going on with it even after blocking, a lovely fellow "raveler" let me know that I may be doing something wrong in my knitting/purling. So I looked it up. And what do you know, I've been purling wrong ever since I first taught myself to knit! (I suppose that it what you get for teaching yourself, ha.) Turns out I've been purling through the back loop the whole time I was supposed to be purling through the front. Oh well. Now I know. I still love everything that has been knit with twisted stitches. :)



I've also learned to crochet! Ah, so fun. :) I am working away at a giant granny square blanket and loving it. I love granny squares. I'm using probably the ugliest combination of colors but it's just acrylic I have laying around in my stash. What a great way to use it up. I can't believe how much faster yarn seems to be used up in crochet than knitting. Kind of crazy.

FO: End of May Mittens

New Mittens! Hooray!


Pattern: End of May Mittens (rav link!)
Yarn: Cascade 220 & a tad bit of KP Palette for cuff
Needles: Size 3 dpn
Thoughts: LOVE!! Such a great pattern. Have had so many compliments from people. And hints that they may also like a pair of these amazing looking mittens. They are very warm and I love the brightness of the green. Or I just love green. :D I would absolutely make this pattern again.



Speaking of green, I've cast on for another Ishbel. In green. I'm really pushing to get it done for the end of the month so I can use it for Feb in my 10 Shawls in 2010 group but it's not looking promising. The loooong purl rows just slow me down way too much. There's got to be a faster way to purl! Well anyhoo, I'm loving the way it's coming out and can't wait to finish it and wear it everywhere.

Here's a photo of Duncan to finish this post. He's kind of cute, even though he woke me up at 5:45 this morning to eat.

A Lack of Words

Yesterday I lost two of the most amazing people I know. My brother and sister-in-law were murdered in their own home. I don't really know what to say about it. I'm still in a state of shock and am trying to be strong for my father. He is the one that found them. I can't imagine the pain that he is going through. I know not many people actually read my blog, but for those who do, and perhaps those who just randomly come across it... please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. No matter who or what you pray to. And please don't let petty things cause trouble between you and your loved ones. You really don't know how much time you have left.

"If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again" I will never stop thinking of either of you.

A Dog Slave

I have become what I said I would never be. A slave to my dog. He has me wrapped around his little finger. Or, paw. But really, how can you resist this face?